Tossing Out the Old Book?

I was originally going to title this post "Turning the Page to 2020." I was originally going to write and post this on January first. It's now January 11... what's being 10 days off, right?

It's very obvious to me that finding time to write is going to be my challenge this year. I've wanted to start a blog for a long time, but it's taken even longer to just get started. I've thought about it for years. I've talked about it for months. I spent a month deciding on a platform. And now 10 days to start actually writing a post. I like how my timeline accelerated towards lift off.

The old me would be mad that it took so long to get started. The new me is glad to be started. To see words appearing on a white page, as quickly as my fingers can go over the laptop's keyboard. I'm tucked in on a rainy Saturday morning with just the click of the keys and the heater doing it's best to bring the temperature of my home up to a bearable level after the overnight low.

I thought I knew what this blog, this very first post was going to be all about. I was wrong.

I thought this blog would be about losing weight, getting healthy, returning to things that bring me joy that haven't been part of my life in too long. And it will be. But now I see it's going to be about sooooooooo much more. "Finding Audra Again" may just be a working title... who knows! I am just excited to see where this all goes.

As for "Turning the Page to 2020" as a post, I was planning to talk about leaving 2019 behind and embarking on a fresh start in 2020. A new decade, a fresh calendar page, a new planner waiting to be filled with activities, reminders, and to-dos. I started 2010 on a high. And then it felt like everything went sideways - because it did. I have spent more New Year's Eves in the last 9 years praying for a better year. Imagine the excitement I've felt wanting to toss the decade out!

But nothing really magical happens as the page turns and we start working on remembering to write and type 2020 on everything. It's another day. It's how you choose to spend your time, and how you choose to react to situations that you may not have chosen for yourself that really matters.

I found this quote this morning, and it changed the trajectory of my thoughts:

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” — C. JoyBell C.

While my past is uniquely mine and who has shaped who I am in this very moment, I do very much feel like I'm starting a new book while leaving that first book tucked away on the bookcase. This year has just begun, and the opportunities for growth and change seem endless. It is a beautiful first page. I can't wait to see what's next.