Oh how I loved those Zumba Samba Cargo Pants. They didn't breathe great, but those straps swinging around when you were in motion... I'm not sure I have the words to describe how alive they helped me feel.
I miss those days terribly, for so many reasons. The near-daily endorphin rush. The music. The fun. The friendships. The way the day's tension would just melt away with the first beat of the music. The giddiness when the instructor would play a favorite song. The joyfulness after class when everyone was riding that same high and you couldn't stop smiling. How a packed class could fog the mirrors over leaving us feeling extra accomplished. The party continuing after class as we'd end up hanging out, dancing, choreographing, listening to music, watching videos, and finding joy in just being in the moment.
I wish I had realized how special those days were when they were happening. I wish that I'd held onto them tighter, made more of an effort. I wish that there had been a way to bottle that magic. I wish those days, that season, hadn't ended. I wish I still had that body! That was damn close to my ideal weight.
I wish I hadn't let it all slip through my fingers. I know that there's still Zumba classes out there... but it wouldn't be the same. I don't think the magic that was probably summer 2009 to fall of 2010 could be recaptured or reproduced. Too much in life has changed for all of us over the past ten years for that to ever happen.
But that doesn't stop the dreams from coming. I don't remember dreams unless I wake up out of them, and I did that twice this morning. Once, I stumbled upon an instructor tryout where one of my coworkers was trying out for a job at this made-up place that was part movie theater/part gym. It made me itchy to start dancing with them. And then I ended up falling asleep again (because who doesn't need a little extra sleep on a Saturday morning) and I woke up a second time, think time dreaming about being out salsa dancing with friends.
Obviously, my inner dancer is dying to get out. And I suppose I should look into viable local options to get my groove on again. I'd really love to take on Latin ballroom, but without a partner, that's kinda a tough one. But I think I need to find some way to incorporate dance into my life. It would probably do me a world of good on so many fronts.
